It's hard to find motivation to write in a blog that nobody reads. I know it's supposed to be cathartic; you know, more of an exercise for my own sanity than for your enjoyment. Somehow, however, I'm not finding any motivation to write or anything of value about which to write.
I started working out yesterday.
My relationship with working-out and dieting has been much like the other relationships in my life. I know what's good for me, yet I don't always do it. Working out and eating healthy is actually something that I can do quite well - with the right concentration. If I plan out my exercises, and portion out my meals with eating times, it becomes a routine that's easy for me to follow. My OCD tendencies greatly support a lifestyle filled with routine and plans. Unfortunately, so far this summer, routine and plans have been greatly lacking in my existence. No more, I say.
Yesterday I met with a trainer for my "orientation" and to discuss my goals (in the gym, not in my life). The goals are all quite reasonable, and culminate with my 30th birthday. The idea is that if I can look as good at 30 as I did at 20, then I'm on my way to a great new chapter - the "hot and thirty-something" chapter. After an hour of working out and sweating in all of the embarrassing parts, I realized that I am considerably weaker than I thought. My attitude, however, was quite optimistic, and because of that I think my goal is reachable.
Today will be my first day working out on my own (although I'm hoping to get my aunt in on the schedule). I'm working out chest, shoulders, and triceps, and I have specific set, reps, and rest times set. I also have a Moleskine dedicated to recording which exercises I do and the weights I use - both to track my progress and to alleviate the "what weight should I set this at" confusion on the machines.
Here's to hoping that it goes well, that Susie is on board, and that I start seeing results sooner rather than later. I need to fit into my size 6 work pants before school starts, otherwise I'm going bottomless, and I don't think that's a good way to start off at a new job.
Happy Tuesday.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Them is fightin' words...
Last night, after a brief discussion about commitment, Justin commented on his desire to know "how we fight" as a gauge to our longevity as a couple. I tried to explain that I don't really fight (except with my mother), but rather like to talk things out rationally and honestly try to see the other party's point of view. While I often like to play devil's advocate in many debatable circumstances, there are very few issues where I am unwavering and unyielding in my position or beliefs. Let's be honest - I just don't care enough about that many things to fight over them. I'd rather keep the peace and be swayed by a convincing argument.
Justin seemed convinced that in order to be a solid and long-lasting couple, we had to fight well. And before he could commit to the idea of "us" in the long-term, he needed to see this fighting in action. I disagreed.
But that got me to thinking: what does fighting say about a couple? Can a couple be successful without fighting, or is this a pipe dream implanted into young girls' heads along with the white-picket-fence and 2.5 children ideal?
After a brief voyage on the information highway, I found a few interesting articles.
On And They Lived Happily Ever After, although they use marital fights as the topic of discussion, they point out a few key points that are valid for couples old and new, married and dating. They reiterate my point that personality types, not topics, are often the cause of fighting. A strong personality with convicted beliefs is considerably more likely to instigate or get caught in the middle of a verbal battle with their partner.
The nauseatingly named website also points out that even getting into a fight with your partner shows your interest in having a valid and open relationship. Why would you put yourself into a tense situation if you didn't trust your partner's opinion and value the relationship? You wouldn't. The woman would nod and smile, as a good woman should, and take a submissive position. Fighting back means there is something worth fighting for, even if "fighting" is simply expressing a difference of opinion or feelings of anger.
Lastly, they point out that incessant fighting is the result, not cause, of a poor relationship. People don't break-up because they fight; they fight because they are unhappy or unsatisfied, and ultimately break-up for those reasons. Constant fighting is merely the symptom, not cause, of an unsuccessful union.
Wanting a second opinion, I consulted the ultimate couples therapist, Dr. Phil (I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth). While I often take what he says with a grain of salt, and never listen to any advice his ill-educated wife has to offer, he did have a few gems of wisdom - I call them "gems" because they strike me as being in line with my own thoughts on the matter.
He states that healthy, loving couples, argue more with a solution in mind than a winner/loser declaration at the fights end. Loving someone means you want them to be happy, even if that means quietly and patiently listening to their side, and trying to find some middle-ground with your own ideas.
Philly also says that whether a couple fights "dirty" or not is an indication of the longevity of a relationship. Is there name-calling involved? Does one party keep bringing up past events as a way to produce holes in the other's argument? As he says, are you looking for an assassination or a solution as the end result?
In the end, Justin and I were both right. While fighting does often determine the stability and health of a relationship, it's the goal and the process of the fight or argument which should be examined.
As the old adage goes, it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
Dammit! I really wanted to be right about this one...
Justin seemed convinced that in order to be a solid and long-lasting couple, we had to fight well. And before he could commit to the idea of "us" in the long-term, he needed to see this fighting in action. I disagreed.
But that got me to thinking: what does fighting say about a couple? Can a couple be successful without fighting, or is this a pipe dream implanted into young girls' heads along with the white-picket-fence and 2.5 children ideal?
After a brief voyage on the information highway, I found a few interesting articles.
On And They Lived Happily Ever After, although they use marital fights as the topic of discussion, they point out a few key points that are valid for couples old and new, married and dating. They reiterate my point that personality types, not topics, are often the cause of fighting. A strong personality with convicted beliefs is considerably more likely to instigate or get caught in the middle of a verbal battle with their partner.
The nauseatingly named website also points out that even getting into a fight with your partner shows your interest in having a valid and open relationship. Why would you put yourself into a tense situation if you didn't trust your partner's opinion and value the relationship? You wouldn't. The woman would nod and smile, as a good woman should, and take a submissive position. Fighting back means there is something worth fighting for, even if "fighting" is simply expressing a difference of opinion or feelings of anger.
Lastly, they point out that incessant fighting is the result, not cause, of a poor relationship. People don't break-up because they fight; they fight because they are unhappy or unsatisfied, and ultimately break-up for those reasons. Constant fighting is merely the symptom, not cause, of an unsuccessful union.
Wanting a second opinion, I consulted the ultimate couples therapist, Dr. Phil (I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth). While I often take what he says with a grain of salt, and never listen to any advice his ill-educated wife has to offer, he did have a few gems of wisdom - I call them "gems" because they strike me as being in line with my own thoughts on the matter.
He states that healthy, loving couples, argue more with a solution in mind than a winner/loser declaration at the fights end. Loving someone means you want them to be happy, even if that means quietly and patiently listening to their side, and trying to find some middle-ground with your own ideas.
Philly also says that whether a couple fights "dirty" or not is an indication of the longevity of a relationship. Is there name-calling involved? Does one party keep bringing up past events as a way to produce holes in the other's argument? As he says, are you looking for an assassination or a solution as the end result?
In the end, Justin and I were both right. While fighting does often determine the stability and health of a relationship, it's the goal and the process of the fight or argument which should be examined.
As the old adage goes, it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
Dammit! I really wanted to be right about this one...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Movin' on up
So I've been a bit delinquent in my blog updates as of late. But I've been driving 1600+ miles and moving in. I think I deserve some leeway...
Let's recap, shall we?
Friday, June 26, Mel and I (along with J and Danger) set off on our great American 1/2 Cross-Country road trip. Night 1 was spent in Tucson. After a boring drive through New Mexico (although a decent lunch at El Comedor in Las Cruces) we stayed in Fort Stockton, Texas. Oddly enough, we stayed in the same motel that my father and I stayed in 5 years ago on the trek out to California. I love tying up chapters with nice little bows. But I digress.
On Sunday we traveled only a few hundred miles to San Antonio, where we decided to get in a bit of site seeing. We had some margaritas at Mi Tierra at Market Square, and then many more margaritas later on at Rita's on the River Walk. Mel was able to reconnect with a high school friend from Visalia, and I got to listen to their high school stories and recaps. It was actually quite interesting.
On Monday, June 29, we left San Antonio at an un-Godly 6:00 am and made it to my new apartment approximately 45 minutes before the moving van arrived. Everything was unloaded in a pseudo-timely manner, and I begrudgingly handed over my check for $4400 (I was quoted $3200, but that's yet another annoying speed-hump in the road of my life). The drive was long, and Wendy's check-engine light was on nearly the whole time. But we made it. And no one had to throw a cat out the window in the process.
Melanie left on Wednesday, July 1. It's been me vs. the boxes ever since.
While I have very slowly been unpacking and organizing said boxes, the highlight of my Texas adventure so far has been the massive amounts of time I have been able to spend with my family already: cocktails with Aunt Susie, only part of which she remembers ;), swimming with Granny, building furniture with Richard, dinner with my dad, Colleen, and Rachel, and unpacking boxes with my mom. I wouldn't say it's been a family overload. It's just been nice to spend unrushed time with my amazing family - something that I haven't really been able to do in 11 years.
So now I'm sitting in my office/spare bedroom, where a cat is perched directly between my keyboard and monitor, and whose tail keeps hitting me as I type.
This is my new life. And this is my family. Furry children included. It almost feels like home.
Let's recap, shall we?
Friday, June 26, Mel and I (along with J and Danger) set off on our great American 1/2 Cross-Country road trip. Night 1 was spent in Tucson. After a boring drive through New Mexico (although a decent lunch at El Comedor in Las Cruces) we stayed in Fort Stockton, Texas. Oddly enough, we stayed in the same motel that my father and I stayed in 5 years ago on the trek out to California. I love tying up chapters with nice little bows. But I digress.
On Sunday we traveled only a few hundred miles to San Antonio, where we decided to get in a bit of site seeing. We had some margaritas at Mi Tierra at Market Square, and then many more margaritas later on at Rita's on the River Walk. Mel was able to reconnect with a high school friend from Visalia, and I got to listen to their high school stories and recaps. It was actually quite interesting.
On Monday, June 29, we left San Antonio at an un-Godly 6:00 am and made it to my new apartment approximately 45 minutes before the moving van arrived. Everything was unloaded in a pseudo-timely manner, and I begrudgingly handed over my check for $4400 (I was quoted $3200, but that's yet another annoying speed-hump in the road of my life). The drive was long, and Wendy's check-engine light was on nearly the whole time. But we made it. And no one had to throw a cat out the window in the process.
Melanie left on Wednesday, July 1. It's been me vs. the boxes ever since.
While I have very slowly been unpacking and organizing said boxes, the highlight of my Texas adventure so far has been the massive amounts of time I have been able to spend with my family already: cocktails with Aunt Susie, only part of which she remembers ;), swimming with Granny, building furniture with Richard, dinner with my dad, Colleen, and Rachel, and unpacking boxes with my mom. I wouldn't say it's been a family overload. It's just been nice to spend unrushed time with my amazing family - something that I haven't really been able to do in 11 years.
So now I'm sitting in my office/spare bedroom, where a cat is perched directly between my keyboard and monitor, and whose tail keeps hitting me as I type.
This is my new life. And this is my family. Furry children included. It almost feels like home.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
